


Five times Frank doesn't find out about Matt Murdock and one time he does

by Nautika



Series: I'm not Daredevil, really! [2]
Category: Daredevil (Comics), Daredevil (TV), The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Attempt at Humor, But no violence shown, Crimes & Criminals, Frank wants to strangle Daredevil a lot, Gen, Identity Reveal, Karen and Foggy show up but don't really do anything, Kidnapping, Matt Is A Dork, Mobsters, No Smut, Reveal, Secret Identity, Threats of Violence, a bit crack-ish but not really, random warehouses show up surprisingly often
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-08-21 12:09:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16576196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nautika/pseuds/Nautika
Summary: What it says on the tin :)------“Well”, Daredevil said, squirming to get out of the ropes tying him to a chair, “could be worse.”“Really”, the Punisher replied pleasantly while dangling from the ceiling, “how so?”





	1. Sharks and Batman

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back :D after three years there's a sequel. You don't have to read Part One to follow this one. I'd love to get comments but Kudos are fine, too. Enjoy :)
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters and there's not money involved.

* * *

“Well”, Daredevil said while trying to get out of the ropes binding him to a chair, “could be worse.”

“Really”, the Punisher replied pleasantly from above, “how so?”

“We could both be dangling from the ceiling?” Matt tried. “And there could be sharks waiting in that water tank you’re about to get dropped in. That’d be worse.”

Matt didn’t need any superhearing to know that Frank was grinding his teeth. “You’ve read too many comic books, Red”, he grunted.

Before Matt could give any snarky reply, the door to the warehouse opened and the mobsters they’d previously tried to beat up strolled in.

“Well well well”, the boss’ right hand sounded like a second class Bond villain, “if those aren’t our favorite friendly neighborhood heroes!”

“Vigilantes” Matt and Frank interrupted  in unison.

“Whatever” Right Hand said. He spread his arms wide and sounded like he was grinning. “Not to worry, this will all be over soon… or, well”, he snickered, “you’ll be over soon.” He turned to the two goons who had entered with him: “Get that stupid mask off his head!”

Matt had wondered why he still had his mask on, but it would seem the mobsters wanted to humiliate him and therefore waited until he had regained consciousness. Every muscle in his body strained as he showed his teeth, ready to fight off those goons if the opportunity presented itself.

One goon stopped short, grabbing the other’s arm. “Wait”, the goon said, “I don’t think we should do that. That thing could blow up in our faces!”

The other one blinked, unsure, and looked at Right Hand, who looked back incredulously. “Why the hell should it do that?” Right Hand narrowed his eyes at the first goon, “what do you know that we don’t?” he asked while lifting his gun, clearly suspecting the guy of some sort of betrayal.

The first goon raised his arms and shook his head. “No, no, nothing, but..” he hesitated. Right Hand rolled his eyes and motioned with the gun for him to go on. Goon one sounded like he bit his lip. “It’s just… well, okay, so yesterday I read a, uh, magazine and it warned about just taking off people’s red helmets without checking for explosives… and yeah.”

Right Hand sighed. “Again, this is not a comic and we’re not some Batman villain, that-”

“Antihero”, Matt, Frank, and the two goons interrupted.

“Whatever!” Right Hand replied.

When both goons still looked unsure, he shook his head. “Fine! Let him have his horns, it’s not that he’ll matter after today.” Matt tried not to look too relieved.

“Now” Right Hand said, stepping in front of Matt, “if you tell us what we want to know, we’ll be nice and just shoot the both of you. If not, we’ll dunk that idiot Punisher longer and longer everytime and it’ll be a long, unpleasant death. You understand?”

Matt nodded. The ropes around his wrists finally fell away, but he had to stay still and wait for the three mobsters to be near enough to take them out all at one time. From above Frank yelled “You tell them nothing, Red, you hear me? Nothing!” Matt would have liked to cross himself after the next curses The Punisher let out. “Language” he muttered. Even the mobsters seemed to have had enough after Frank questioned their courage in an especially colorful way. All three of them turned around in silent agreement to just shoot Frank now and get it over with.

 

As distractions went, it was a good one and it took Matt not even one minute to knock them out. Then he turned in The Punisher’s direction and tilted his head, considering.

 

“If you leave me hanging here, Red, I’ll never buy you a bagel in the middle of the night again!”

 

Yeah, that wouldn’t do. Matt needed his midnight bagels. His revenge for chaining him to some chimney would have to wait.

 


	2. Trunk conversation

“Well”, Daredevil said while trying to get a bit more comfortable, “could be worse.”

“Really”, The Punisher replied pleasantly from behind him, “how so?”

“I could also have one leg broken and the other one shot?” Daredevil tried and earned himself a kick from Frank. “Hey! Okay, and they could’ve simply killed us instead of cramping us in this trunk. That’d be worse.”

“Shut up, Red.” Frank wasn’t in the mood to quarrel. He considered making his point clear by strangling his not-by-choice cuddle buddy.

“No, really, listen. There are questions here - are those the same guys that kidnapped us last time? That’d be worrying, wouldn’t it be? They’d wanted something from us… and if you hadn’t made so much noise last time, we’d know by now”, he accused.

“Now you’re mad at me for getting us out - “

“- you didn’t, I did and - “

“No, no, Red, if _I_ hadn’t managed to draw their attention, _you_ wouldn’t have been able to - “

“- that’s not the point! Besides, if _you_ hadn’t had let them capture you in the first place, _I_ wouldn’t have had to come to _your_ rescue, so there!”

“So now _I’m_ the bad guy??”

“Frank, you’re always the bad guy.”

“...fair enough.”

In the following silence, Matt tried to shift and turn a bit to save his legs from falling asleep. Frank was having none of it. “Jesus Christ, would you stop kicking me and hold still?” - “Nah.”

Frank took a deep breath and was getting ready to let Red know exactly what he thought of that answer, when the car stopped and Daredevil put a gloved hand over Frank’s face. “Ssssshh!”

“Hnn?” Frank tried to communicate his outrage while also trying to do just that very quietly.

“They’re discussing their next moves.” Red was fluent in Punisherish. He tilted his head. Frank could tell despite the trunk’s darkness because now he had a horn in his eye, fueling his outrage. He could hear the doors open and, judging by the light lift the car got, he guessed the two guys in the front got out. He froze and felt Daredevil brace himself in a similar way before… nothing happened.

With some effort, Frank managed to draw one hand up and swatted Daredevil’s away from his face. “So what now?” he whispered and got shushed again.

The horn was finally removed and his trunk buddy relaxed a bit. “They’ve gone, getting the boss. Said it might take some time, though.” Frank could hear the grin in the next words. “So we better get out. You wouldn’t have a knife hidden in your boot, would you?”

“Again, Red, not a comic, not a movie. I shoot people, no need for a freaking knife in my freaking boot, what do you think I am? Some spy?”

“Uh-huh. Left or right boot?” Daredevil inquired amused.

“...right”, Frank grumbled.

That’s all Red needed to fly into activity. Or, well, crawl into activity, trying to turn around enough in the trunk’s cramped space to get to Frank’s boot. “Could you maybe lift your leg a bit?”

“What, your arm not long enough?”

“Shut up and be helpful!”

“Ow, hands off my leg, Red, there’s still a bullet in it!”

“Don’t be a baby, it was a small bullet, it’ll heal in no time.”

“Easy for you to say! How would you know anyhow, it’s freaking dark in here!”

Matt hesitated. “Uh, you’re not dead yet?” he tried.

Frank harrumphed. “Fine.”

Some knees to Frank’s rips, boots zu his face, and elbows to his groin later, Red let out a triumphant “aha!” and produced the knife. “Now all we have to do is slice into the backseat and crawl out before those guys come back!” he said and squirmed into the right position to do just that, ignoring Frank’s occasional “Ow!”. Before long, light flooded the trunk and they could breathe fresher air. Daredevil ripped into that backseat like his life depended on it - which it might have, of course - and finally was able to show a decent sized hole for his troubles. Frank gave a small sigh of relief and a grunt of irritation as Daredevil proceeded to wriggle over him and through the backseat.

“Hey Red!” Frank called as soon as he was alone in the trunk, “don’t wait up, I won’t fit through. Just start the car and drive us away!”

“Uhm”, Daredevil said, “that’s not… exactly possible.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Uhm”, Daredevil said, “I can’t drive stick? Ah, you know what, there’s no one outside at the moment, I’ll just open the trunk and you drive.”

“Oh, you gotta be kidding me!” Frank yelled quietly. “How do you not know -” but Matt had already snuck out of the car and shortly after the trunk popped open, revealing a rather sheepish looking Daredevil.

“Great”, Frank said. “Leg’s still broken, ya know?” he grunted as Matt reached into the trunk to pull him out, prompting Frank to curse as quietly as possible. After getting more or less dragged into the front seat, he sprawled there, looking at the idiot in the red costume. “Okay, now what? I can’t use one of my legs and there’s a bullet in the other one, so what are we gonna do now?”

He watched Daredevil tilt his head, considering, before nodding. That doesn’t bode well, Frank thought, and before any word could leave his mouth, Daredevil crawled into the leg room. “It’s easy”, he said, “you just… drive and tell me, when to press the accelerator and when the brake.”

Frank looked down incredulously and was about to question everyone’s sanity, but Daredevil stiffened and looked up, yelling “drive!” before getting rudely interrupted by a bullet zipping through the windshield. Seemed like the mobsters were back, damn.

Later, Frank couldn’t really remember how they had managed their escape. Well, they _had_ made a surprisingly good team in that car, Frank hollering “left! right!” and Daredevil following his instructions, but he nevertheless was surprised they had made it out alive and to one of his safehouses.

Daredevil had left as soon as Frank was save and snug on the couch, one leg bandaged, the broken leg stabilized, but had promised to come back the next day with beer and bagels, so for the moment Frank was comfortable.

...and it took him just a little over a week to realise that it had been, in fact, an automatic car.

 


	3. Forklift on fire

“Well”, Daredevil said while trying to lift a steel beam, “could be worse.”

“Really”, The Punisher replied pleasantly from under said beam, “how so?”

“The warehouse could be on fire?” Red tried. “That’d be worse.”

“Oh please”, Frank grunted, “I know how to blow up something without actually burning it to the ground. Now would you please get on with it? I’m getting squished down here!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Daredevil strained his muscles, but to no avail. “That’s not gonna work, Frank. It’s too heavy.” He crouched down, tilting his head. “Any ideas? Dieter and Detlef could be back any second.”

“Who?”

Red sighed. “The mobsters. Didn’t you do your research?”

Frank snorted. “Why should I? Don’t care. And nah, they won’t. As soon as I threw the grenades, those cowards ran right out.” He laid down again and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to catch his breath. The steel beam had come close to crushing his hip but instead had only managed to pin his legs to the ground. Felt like a broken bone there, though, but not like he was losing any blood, so no open wound. He should’ve felt lucky. He did not.

“Speaking of”, Red said, “why grenades?”

“What do you mean ‘why grenades'? Why not? There were those idiot mobsters that put us in that car in the last chapter and I had grenades with me. It seemed like a logical solution.”

“Mh-hm.” Red hummed, “...how come you’re stuck here now, though?”

Frank grumbled something.

“Sorry, didn’t catch that”, Daredevil said.

Frank turned his head away, “...go off…”

“Whazzat?”

“They didn’t go off”, Frank harrumphed.

“They didn’t go off? And you thought, what, it’d be a good idea to go look for them then?” Red inquired incredulously.

“Of course I did”, Frank huffed, “you never know, maybe someone else would step on them and go boom! I’m not gonna risk a kid’s life like that!”

Daredevil was quiet for a second before his features softened somewhat and he nodded. “You’re a good guy, Frank”, he said quietly before getting to his feet again. “Well, let’s get you out of here!”

“Ya know, there’s this forklift behind you”, Frank said, “try that to lift the beam.”

“A forklift?” Red sounded like his eyes were going wide, “I can’t operate a forklift!”

“Red, it’s just a steering wheel and a lever or two. Haven’t you seen that Forklift Driver Klaus video? It’s really not that hard.”

Matt tried to come up with a reason why that wouldn’t work without revealing too much, but then he sniffed the air and blanched.

“Hey Frank.”

“Yeah?”

“Remember when I labeled the warehouse being on fire as ‘could be worse’?”

“Yeah? What about it?”

While running to the forklift, Matt pointed to the far side of the big warehouse, where some smoke began to drift to the ceiling. “It's worse!” He hopped on the forklift, turned the key and gripped onto steering wheel, trying to figure out how to properly work that thing.

Meanwhile Frank watched the fire getting bigger pretty fast and the smoke slowly obscuring the ceiling. “Stop driving in circles and come here!” he snapped at the rotating Daredevil, who obviously tried his best but was unable to drive in a straight line. He watched the Forklift come closer in a wiggly line and yelled “wait, wait! Try to lift another beam before lifting mine. Try this one over there” he pointed. Daredevil nodded and drove over before tilting his head.

“Okay, now what?”

“Just pull the lever!”

“Okay”, Matt said and pulled a lever. The fork arms shifted closer together.

“Wrong lever! The one labeled ‘lift control’!”

The smoke slowly crept down and Matt panicked a bit. “I don’t know which one that is!” he exclaimed before pulling all levers, hitting the steel beam with a loud _clonk_ and driving over it, scrapping the concrete floor in his way.

When he finally managed to stop the forklift, it got eerily silent and all Frank could hear was the swooshing noise of the fire getting bigger. He turned his head to the beat up floor, looked doubtfully at his legs, looked at the roaring fire and finally nodded. 

“Okay, you’re fine, that’ll do!”

* * *

 

Two days later Frank found himself on his couch, one leg in a cast, grumbling about how it's always his legs that get broken and trying to remember how exactly they had managed to escape. He knew it had involved Red being finally able to find the right lever and driving out of the warehouse, while he himself had sat upon the fork arms, directing. It had been slow and wiggly but they had made it.

Something bothered him, though. Why had he been unable to read the labels? Was it possible that Daredevil couldn’t read? Maybe, Frank thought, he could help him? Not that he cared or anything, it was just… he had kinda saved his life.

Huffing, Frank put down his beer. Nah, was probably just too dark to see the labels. He nodded to himself. Yeah, that must be it. Anyway, Red should be there shortly with food. Maybe he'll just ask him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Forklift Driver Klaus video (German with English subtitles - WARNING: it gets pretty wtf and low quality unrealistic splatter at the end)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oB6DN5dYWo
> 
> Who got the "Titanic" and "The Emperor's New Groove" references? :D


	4. Cold nights

“Well,” Matt said while raising his hands, “could be worse.”

“Really,” The Punisher replied pleasantly, eyeing the guns trained on them. “How so?”

“We could be dead already,” Matt shrugged. “That’d be worse.”

The Punisher shot him a look. “Aren’t you just full of optimism, Red,” he grumbled. “And here I thought--”

“Well, well, well, who do we have here,” said the boss’ right hand, striding in. “If those aren’t our favorite neighborhood vigilantes!”

“Hear that?” whispered Matt in Frank’s direction, “he’s learned a new word!”

“Silence!” A vein pulsed at the right hand’s temple, “or we’ll just kill you right now! Dieter! Detlef! Tie them up and put them in the truck!”

“Yes, Fritz,” the two goons replied before looking at each other. “Uh, how should we do that? Cuff them or use rope?”

The vein at Fritz’ temple got dark red. “I don’t care. Cuff them!”

“Okay! But… we only have one pair of handcuffs…”

Matt could hear Frank snorting quietly.

Fritz sounded like he was seconds away from shooting his own people. “So cuff their hands together and use rope for their other hands. I don’t care! Just do it!”

There wasn’t much Matt and Frank could do with about fifteen guns aimed at them, so Matt let his left hand get cuffed to Frank’s right one and their other hands tied together with rope before they got ushered out… very slowly due to them having to walk sidewards.

(“Heh,” Detlef snickered, “bet they feel like crab!” - “Shut up.” Dieter and Fritz said in unison.)

After a short walk out of the building and into the parking space, the goons pushed the two vigilantes up a three step ladder into a surprisingly cold room, slamming the door shut and leaving Matt and Frank in total darkness.

 

* * *

 

“Ya know,” Matt said after a few hours, “that’s the second time in four months that we’re locked in a car together.”

“Yeah.”

“At least it’s much more comfortable than last time.”

“Yeah.”

“I mean, neither of us got shot or his limbs broken. And we’re not in a trunk. So that’s an improvement. And although it’s a refrigerated truck, we’ve at least got some space.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh come on Frank. It’s not my fault they caught us!”

“Of course it’s your fucking fault!” Frank exploded. “We were fine, lurking in those air conducts! It wouldn’t have been a problem for me to just shoot those guys, but nooo Mr. Righteous over there just had to go “No Frank!” and kick my gun to the floor! They’d never have noticed us otherwise! I could be home with a beer right now!”

“Frank, breath, think about your blood pressure-”

“I’ll give you blood pressure!” the Punisher shouted and headbutted Daredevil to where he thought the other’s chin should be. He assumed he hit the mark as he heard Daredevil’s pained gasp and teeth rattle.

“Ow, it’s on!” Daredevil growled and lunged at the Punisher. Or tried to. Their hands were still tied together, so Matt lowered his head and drove his horns in the Punisher’s middle - who harrumphed and kicked his knee up into Matt’s belly. As he went down, Matt realised that he didn’t have the expected advantage of fighting in the dark, because as long as their hands were tied together, Frank would always know exactly were he was. Damn. He also realised that this wasn’t a fight he could win - there was no way he could use his acrobatics like this and when it came to pure brawn, he was outmatched.

At this point he considered fighting dirty - Frank’s leg was in biting range - but the truck took some sharp turns and both of them got flown from one corner to the other, landing in a heap on top of one another.

At last the street seemed to get somewhat straight again and the two vigilantes came to a halt with Matt lying on top of Frank, both of them breathing heavily with bruises yet to form.

“Ow.” Matt said.

“Truce?” Frank replied, trying and failing to sit up.

“Yeah.” Matt had no intention of getting up. Instead, he let his head sink down on the Punisher’s chest, rubbing his face on Frank’s shirt.

“Um.” Frank said, holding very still, “what are you doing?”

“What does it look like.” Matt’s voice was muffled.

“...like inappropriate timing, is what it seems like…”

Matt snorted quietly, raising his head. “Sorry to disappoint. Was just getting rid of some of the blood your teeth-dislodging headbutt left me with.”

“What the.. get off of me!” Frank tried to scramble out from under Matt, only to end up with the Devil in his lap.

“Yeah,” Matt said, “we should probably work on the rope. This is getting real old real fast.”

Frank couldn’t agree more.

 

* * *

 

Fortunately there were some sharp edges to the truck’s shelves, but it still took them the better half of the next hour to cut the rope. They breathed a sigh of relief once they’d freed at least on respective hand.

Matt’s free hand immediately went to his mouth, feeling around. Grumbling, he kicked the Punisher. “Ya know, your thick skull managed to knock one of my teeth out. Hope your insurance will pay for this.”

“Insurance. Sure.” Frank snorted.

Matt turned his head in Frank’s direction. “Is it noticeable? The missing tooth?”

"Um," Frank said and Matt started to get worried. He was gonna have to show up in court this week and there would be questions. “It’s that bad?” he asked.

“How the hell should I know? It’s dark!”

Oh. Yeah, Matt forgot about that. “Uh, yeah, of course,” he hedged, but got the feeling Frank wouldn’t let it go. True to this, he heard Frank opening his mouth, presumably to ask more questions-

-when the truck came to a halt, and Matt fought against a very obvious “thank god”.

They heard the front doors opening and felt both like having a déjà-vu, but instead of going away, the footsteps came closer to the back of the truck. Muffled voices could be heard, talking about “are you sure this is the right place?” and “yeah, we’ll meet the boss here in three days time”, before obviously discussing who had to open the doors. Finally it seemed like they had come to an understanding and the doors klicked, before swinging open.

Matt didn’t know what the three mobsters had expected them to do, but it most certainly wasn’t for the Punisher to swing Daredevil like a roundhouse-kicking morning star by his cuffed hand, taking all three of them out in less than ten seconds.

With the mobsters down, Matt got to his feet and tilted his head, listening. They were alone. Truly alone, it seemed, because all Matt could hear were the wind and some boars roaming the… woods?

“Frank?” he asked, unsure. “Where are we?”

Frank himself was oddly quiet. “Ya know, Red… that’s something I’d like to know myself. But, well, we’re not in Kansas anymore,” he joked. “Let’s have a look around.”

In that moment the wind decided to pick up, bringing freezing air and snow with it. A lot of snow.

Matt tried to orient himself. They most certainly weren’t close to any city anymore, least of all New York. How long had they been in that car?

He and Frank jogged uphill and as soon as they reached the top of the hill, he could sense the tiny cabin there. There was a helicopter landing pad next to it, but otherwise nothing of interest.

They checked the truck and Frank grumbled. “Those idiots drove it to the ground. There’s almost no gas left. We won’t make it back right now.”

Matt nodded. “Okay, so… I guess that cabin is our best option for tonight? Then let’s tie the mobsters up and get them inside, too.” Frank took a breath as if to protest, but Matt was faster. “No, Frank - the temperature feels like it’ll drop way beyond freezing and we’re not leaving them outside,” he said, leaving no room for discussion. Frank harrumphed, but helped him hauling Dieter, Detlef and Fritz inside, tying them up, and cramming them inside a closet.

That left the two exhausted vigilantes. Fortunately there was water to drink, some canned food to eat and a bathroom to awkwardly use.

(“Don’t look or I’ll kill you!” Frank grumbled at Matt, who had to fight against a upcoming laugh.)

Finally they decided to retire for the night. Which left one problem… .

“So.” Frank said, eyeing the two tiny foldable beds bolted to two walls, before looking down at their cuffed hands. “How are we doing this?”

Matt shrugged. “Guess it’ll be like that time in the trunk.” He yawned. “Dibs on the wall-side!” he said, pulling Frank along.

It wasn’t the most comfortable night, but they made due with what they were given. And if that was a cuddle buddy in a cold night when without the cuffs both of them would have been in their respective beds, freezing their butts off, well. So be it.


	5. Color me curious

“Well,” Matt said while listening to the ticking noise of the bomb innocently sitting in the middle of the room, “could be worse.”

“Really,” the Punisher replied pleasantly from the wall he was cuffed to, “how so?”

“Yes,” the ten equally cuffed hostages agreed, “how so?”

“Uh,” Matt said, “...never mind.” He made his way over to the Punisher, tilted his head and produced a lock pick. “How did this happen, Frank?” he grumbled while working on the cuffs.

Frank shrugged. “Don’t know. One second I’m minding my own business, shooting up some bad guys, the other I wake up here. With them,” he indicated with his head. “But you better get us out quickly, the bomb could go off any minute. It’s remote controlled.”

Matt furrowed his brow. “No, it’s not. It’s ticking, there must be a clock on it.”

Frank rolled his eyes. “Yes, because all bombs require old-school clocks taped to them. When have you last seen a bomb? In an 80’s movie? No, I’m telling you, the bad guys have a remote.”

Matt had, in fact, last seen a bomb in an 80’s movie. When it came out. But he wasn’t about to tell Frank that, so he nodded and concentrated on the cuffs. The cuffs stubbornly held on, though, and didn’t give an inch, much to Matt’s frustration. The other hostages began to murmur with one another, until Matt resorted to just grab onto one chain and pull as hard as he could, putting his feet against the wall to boost the leverage - to no avail. He finally admitted defeat, turning back to Frank. The Punisher’s heartbeat didn’t indicate any surprise and was utterly calm.

“Red,” he said, “you might have to go after the bad guys and get the keys.”

“We didn’t need any key last time; and we had been cuffed together then!” Matt grumbled.

“Yes,” Frank said slowly, “but I had a gun, and was able just shoot the damn chain. There ain’t no gun here. So go, now, if you don’t want us to get blown up.”

Matt nodded grudgingly. “You’re right. Be right back.”

And he vanished into the dark warehouse.

* * *

Frank wasn’t so sure sending Red away had been the best decision. It wasn’t that he didn’t think Red capable of beating those guys up - but now he had to deal with a bunch of complaining and frightened hostages by himself. He sighed and after bellowing “Silence!” for the third time, the hostages finally went back to quiet complaining instead of screaming and yelling.

He thought more about his relationship with Daredevil and remembered the rather rough start they've had with him shooting Red in the head and tying him to a chimney. He quietly snickered. Good times.

But over the years things had changed and they've gotten to know each other better. While Red still disapproved of him shooting people, he only actively prevented it when they patrolled together. Otherwise, if Frank didn’t make too much of a mess Red had to mop up afterwards, Daredevil let him be. Hell, they more often than not had some beer or burger.

So yeah, it’s been a few years and Frank still didn’t know Daredevil’s civil identity. It hadn’t mattered much in the beginning, but now he wondered and was getting more curious by the day. There had been this feeling in the back of his head, ever since that whole Elektra shitshow, but he just couldn’t put his finger on it.

Even when they had been snowed in in that cabin two days ago - Red still had a tooth gap from Frank knocking one tooth out - and had to sleep on that tiny bed, he still hadn’t put off the damn horned helmet. Must have been uncomfortable as hell, but whatever.

Fortunately for them, they had found the cabin’s gas supply, were able to fill up the truck and drive back to New York the next day - so how was it his life that not even a day after getting kidnapped by mobsters he had been captured again? Frank let out an irritated growl, which set the other hostages on edge again. After all, he was the freaking Punisher!

He got pulled out of his thoughts by Daredevil coming back, a broken remote in his hands.

Shit.

* * *

Matt felt a bit lightheaded after the fight, but he still managed to pull up a corner of his mouth and grinned, holding the broken remote up. “So. Done. No remote, no bomb going off.”

The hostages rejoiced.

Frank, on the other hand, made a frustrated noise. “No, you idiot. Destroying the remote will most likely activate the bomb’s timer! Did you get the keys?”

The hostages’ rejoicing came to a sudden halt.

Matt’s eyes grew wide underneath the mask. “What? What kind of idiotic concept is this? And no, I couldn’t find them at first and I thought to just destroy the remote would buy us time. The bad guys are knocked out, though, so there’s that.”

Fortunately Frank’s chains prevented him from strangling Daredevil, but the growl in his voice made his thoughts on the matter clear. “No,” he said, “now you’ll have to deactivate the bomb.”

“I have to what now- no wait, the ticking noise just got faster.”

“What do you mean, the ticking noise got faster, there’s no way- “

“Frank, shut up,” Red said, walking over to the bomb. He wasn’t completely sure, but well, first time for everything, he guessed.

...first and last time, in case this went bad, though.

He tried feeling around and there was definitely some chains tying the bomb to the floor, so just picking it up and running like hell wouldn’t work. So. He raised his head in Frank’s direction. “Can you maybe… I don’t know, tell me what to do?”

“You want me to tell you how to disarm a bomb?” Frank asked incredulously.

“You have a better idea?” Matt snapped.

“Okay,” Frank conceded, “describe it to me.”

Matt swallowed but did as Frank asked, as best as he could. “...and there’s a clock - told ya - and two wires, and-”

“Wait, hold on - two wires? You’re sure, two? Not one or four?”

Matt felt around to be completely sure. “Yeah. Two”

Frank sighed in relief. “Okay, from your description, it’s an absolute standard, nothing fancy and I even know where they got it. Disarming it is ridiculously easy.”

The hostages rejoiced.

Matt’s heart felt a hundred pounds lighter, at least. “Okay, what do I do?”

“Just cut the red wire.” said Frank.

* * *

 ‘...aw, shit, come on, no fair,’ Matt thought and hesitated.

The hostages stopped rejoicing and Matt knew that was the moment he had to say goodbye to his secret identity - he really couldn’t risk all these people for the sake of keeping it. Of course he could try to swear them all into secrecy, but he also knew that wouldn’t work. Ah, well, he's had a good run, if he could say so himself. Was fun while it lasted. Well, not exactly fun, of course, after all he was sacrificing his soul and friendships to beat people up at night and- oh, who was he kidding, of course it was fun.

He knew all he had to do was to point to the two wires and ask the nearest hostage which one was the red one - but still he hesitated a bit longer. Biting his lip, he tried to force the question out of his mouth, but just couldn’t do it.

Matt took a deep breath. He could do it. Yes, he could do it. Deep breath. Now, unlock your jaw and just ask-

The bomb beeped one final time and Matt reflexively pulled a random wire out.

* * *

Yeah so. Obviously, they didn’t get blown up. The bomb died down and everyone took a relieved breath, including Frank.

Why Red had hesitated as long as he did, he didn’t know. Had he tried to make it more suspenseful? If so, it had certainly worked, Frank was close to a heart attack. That damn horned drama queen!

Frank sank back in his shackles and watched Daredevil come back from finally retrieving those keys.

...he also watched him tilting his head in the direction of said keys as if trying to figure something out.

“Red?” he asked, “what are you waiting for? Pretty sure the police will arrive some time this week. It’s the big blue key.”

“Uh, okay,” Daredevil said and approached with the keychain, holding out a red key.

“I said the blue one, what, are you colorblind?” Frank joked.

Matt said nothing and Frank… Frank nearly had a heart attack. Again.

He was so gonna strangle that idiot.

* * *

After freeing all the other hostages and tying up the bad guys, Frank dragged Matt out of the warehouse and into an alleyway on the other side of the street, fully intending to make good on his promise.

“You damn idiot, you could’ve blown us all up with your damn stubbornness!” he growled.

“But I didn’t,” Matt tried weakly, trying to squirm out of the Punisher’s hold on him.

“This time! Goddamnit, Red, you and your secrets! If I had known I could’ve helped!”

Matt sighed. “I know. I’m sorry. Force of habit, I guess?”

Frank shook him one more time to drive his point home before letting go. “So. Colorblind, huh? Alright, I can work with that. Now let’s grab some beer and some food, I’m starving-”

\--” **Frank Castle! Hands where I can see them!** ” a voice shouted and how the hell had they not noticed the SWAT Team about to enter the alleyway?

Damnit. Frank swore silently and looked back to see if Red was ready to fight off the police - but there was only empty air.

Frank knew for a fact there wasn’t any other exit to this alleyway, so where did..? … he looked up. And up. And if he strained his sight, he could just make out a shadow getting away over the roof.

He grunted and eyed the guns trained on him. He had no weapons on him and yeah, there was no way he would be able to fight his way out alone, so he did the only thing he could think of: he raised his hands.

Frank’s last thought before getting cuffed and crammed into the police truck was about Daredevil.

He was so gonna strangle the guy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously, I have no idea how a bomb works and I didn't exactly want to look it up on the internet. Doesn't look good in one's search history, now, does it? So, sorry for that ^^;


	6. Holy Devil

“...and then the moron just up and left me to fight off that damn SWAT team on my own!” Frank snarled. “Well, it could be worse, I guess - the bomb could have exploded in our faces - but still! If that horned nuisance hadn’t run away like a damn coward, we could have easily beaten the damn police! But no, oh no, Mr. Daredevil just had to parkour away like some freaking circus act! And now he’s leaving me to rot in jail! Of course it’s not like I need him to help me out or anything, but it’s professional courtesy to not let one another hanging, ya know?”

He got up from the cot and started pacing his cell.

“I can’t wait to get my hands on that cowardly neck! Gonna strangle him! Might throw a punch first, like this,” he said and let his fist violently connect with a wall. “Or maybe a few punches. Shoot him in the head again, if I feel like it. ...nothing permanent though, just enough to let him know I’m not pleased at all. That secret keeping moronic son of a bitch. Understand what I’m saying?”

His terrified cellmate quickly nodded, not wanting to aggravate an already disgruntled Punisher.

“Yeah, thought so,” Frank growled. He sat back on his cot, put his head in his hands and took a deep breath before looking down. “Orange really isn’t my color,” he grumbled. “...and if it hadn’t been for that mobster Fritz and his goons constantly trying to kidnap me, I wouldn’t be here at all!”

“You mean Fritz, Detlef, and Dieter?” his cellmate piped up, “yeah, they are idiots. They think Daredevil is the Devil himself and are trying to drag him to the boss for ages,” he rolled his eyes.

Oh. Ooh. Frank had freaking known it had all been Red’s fault! That damn nickname and that damn suit with those damn horns and-

His cellmate frowned: “Thinking of… Mr. Punisher, Sir,” he said, “...what do you mean ‘shoot him again’?”

Frank looked up and saw an opportunity. “He’s got a thick skull, that one.”

Cellmate’s eyes grew wide. “You shot him in the head and he survived?”

Yeah, alright. Frank was allowed some fun. “Yeah, ‘course. He’s Daredevil, isn’t he? Has to count for something.”

“You don’t mean.. are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Cellmate got excited. “I know there are rumors about him being… ya know… the Devil and we very much suspected 'course there were Aliens flying around some time ago, so why not the Devil, too - but really, you’re sure? If that’s the case, then I’ll have to tell our boss! He’ll make me his right hand instead of Fritz!”

Frank raised an eyebrow. The kid was what, in his mid-twenties? “What’s your name, kid?” he asked.

“Hermann.” his cellmate replied and Frank sighed. What was it with all those german mobsters all of a sudden. He leaned forward. “Listen here, kid,” he said, “I’ve known Daredevil for some time now. You can’t hurt him with guns or knives. I’ve tried and failed. Hell, I’ve shot him in the head from like, two meters away. He just walked it off. I can tell you how to really hurt him, though. But I’m not sure I should.”

Hermann looked at Frank wide-eyed. “I’m sure the boss will do right about anything to get Daredevil’s head!”

Frank nodded. “Alright, listen here. I’m gonna tell you how to hurt and stop Daredevil. You’re getting out today, so you’ll go to your boss and tell him he’s gonna get me out of here and then I’m gonna tell ya how to kill the guy. Deal?”

“Deal!” Hermann wasn’t bouncing up and down, but it seemed to be a near thing. “We know there’s going to be a prisoner transport tomorrow, so I’m sure we can arrange something!”

Frank wasn’t sure it would work, but, well it wasn’t like he had anything to lose. Worst case he’d still be stuck in prison after tomorrow, which he would be anyway without the deal, so yeah, whatever. He nodded. “Holy water,” he said.

“Holy water?” Hermann asked.

“Yeah, holy water. He’s a devil. Just put some holy water in a spray bottle and whenever he’s bothering you, use the bottle. It burns him.”

“You’re serious? Really? That’s… awesome! I’m gonna tell the boss as soon as I’m out! We’ll just switch our guns for spray bottles! Woah, never imagined it to be that easy!”

“Yeah kid,” the Punisher replied, “me neither.”

* * *

A few hours later, Hermann was allowed to leave and Frank had the cell for himself again. He was actually pretty curious about how the next day would turn out - maybe those mobsters really would try to free him? It was a given he would kill them right away - they were the bad guys, after all - but yeah, he wondered.

His thoughts wandered over to Daredevil again and he smirked at the thought of those idiots spraying Red with water. He could just imagine Red’s dumbfounded face and he’d really like to be there when it happened.

He was still angry with Daredevil, though. He had just left him, the asshole! If he hadn’t made such a drama about being unable to see colors, they would have been able to get away faster and Frank wouldn’t have been caught. The next time he saw him, he was so gonna put his hands around Red’s neck and squeeze the “Well, could be worse” right out of him!

Just as he had made himself as comfortable as possible on his cot, three officers arrived at the cell door and straightened their shoulders. “Hands on your back and through the gap in the door!” one of them said. Frank complied and let himself get cuffed before getting manhandled out of his cell.

“So… where are we going?” he asked. Last time something like this happened there had been a crowd waiting to beat him up. He wasn’t keen on a repeat performance.

“Your lawyer is here to see you.” one officer replied gruffly.

“Hn.” Frank said, assuming a lie. He was led to an empty room, confirming his assumption. The officers left the room and Frank waited.

And waited.

Finally the door opened and a familiar face walked in - the blind lawyer from his last trial. The one that had left him hanging for some reason he never found out nor cared for. He tried to remember his name… Mulder? No. Murder-something. Murdick - no.  Murduck? Murdock, yeah, that was it. Matthew Murdock.

The lawyer put a heavy folder on the table and sat down, folding up his cane.

“Hello, Mr. Castle,” Murdock said. Or murmured, as if he couldn’t be bothered to open his mouth while speaking. He had a nice shiner on his chin, so maybe that was why. Something felt familiar about him, though, but that could also be because of their past acquaintance.

“Murdock.” Frank greeted.

“They've just finished printing the braille text, so I’m going to need a minute to read it,” Murdock said and really? Frank sighed and gritted his teeth. “Take your time.”

His lawyer nodded and started running his fingers over the text. He furrowed his brow from time to time, but nodded to himself more times than not.

Finally he closed the folder and raised his head in Frank’s direction. “Alright, Mr. Castle. There are some pretty big charges brought forward here, but it seems like they can’t really proof anything.”

Frank nodded before catching himself. “Yeah, okay. So what do you think?” he asked.

“Well,” Murdock said while leaning back in his chair, “could be worse.”

And then he smiled. There was a fucking tooth gap.

Frank lunged across the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it folks :) Thank you for reading! I really hope you liked it and I'm always happy to get (nice) comments.  
> There might actually be one more teeny-tiny chapter as kind of a follow-up here in the near future. Just a heads-up :D


	7. Bonus chapter: Snippets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some small snippets, all set after "Holy Devil" except the very last one :)

Two days later, Frank found himself on the old ratty couch in one Matt Murdock’s apartment. Hermann and his merry band of moronic mobsters had indeed been able to break him out of jail, but Daredevil had stopped him from killing them.

So now he sat on the couch, beer in hand, and blatantly watched Murdock changing from his Daredevil outfit into green shorts and a purple shirt.

“Colorblind, huh?” he said.

“Well,” Murdock said, “wasn’t a lie. Technically.”

Eyeing Matt’s choice of clothes, Frank nodded. “Yeah. I can see that.”

“Watch it, or no more beer for you. And no more sleeping on my couch, too.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

 

 

* * *

 

“Frank?”

-”Yeah?”

“Why did that guy just throw a water balloon at me?”

-”Hell, if I know.”

 

* * *

 

“Say, Frank, you know I love having you on my couch, but…”

-”What?”

“It’s been five months. Aren’t you sick of hiding on the roof whenever Foggy or Karen comes over?”

-”Yeah, I am. You’re right. Next time I’ll just stay here and they can deal with it.”

“That’s not exactly what I… forget it. At least you pay rent.”

 

 

* * *

 

“Shit,” Daredevil said, slowly raising his hands. There was nowhere he could go, the mobsters had him surrounded. He had made a stupid mistake and walked right into the trap set for him - and now he was cornered with no means of escape and at least fifteen armed bad guys.

“We got you now!” one of them shouted. “You won’t escape this time, Daredevil!”

Matt gritted his teeth. “Alright,” he yelled back at them, “you wanna bring me to your boss? Well, go ahead! Getting curious myself, anyway!”

All fifteen mobsters laughed cruelly and Matt got a bad feeling about this.

“Well, Daredevil,” the mobster said, still laughing, “that won’t happen. Any last words?”

‘Fuck,’ Matt thought and steeled himself. Maybe the suit could save him again but-

“No? Very well. Shoot him!” the mobster cried and Matt closed his eyes before it started to… rain? What?

“Uhm,” he said. “Are those super soakers?”

“Of course!” the mobster yelled. “Why won’t you die?!”

“Yeah, okay. I’m just… I’m gonna go, now,” Matt said and made a run for it.

Those guys had been weird. He’d have to tell Frank about it. 

 

* * *

 

“I don’t want to question your life choices, Matty,” Foggy said, “but why’s the Punisher on your couch?”

“Hm? Oh yeah. For the movie night,” Matt said, yawning.

Foggy nodded. “Yes, of course, that makes _no sense at all what the fuck Matt_?”

Matt made a face. “I couldn’t very well kick him out anymore when you guys come over.”

“Uhm, kick him out?” Karen asked from her place on the couch, next to Frank.

Scratching his neck, Matt nodded. “Yeah, well.. he kinda lives here?” he said.

“ _He what now?_ ”

“Foggy, breathe, just until he’s back on his feet-”

“He’s a wanted criminal, Matt!”

“I know, I know, but-”

“How long has he been living here?”

“Ah, not that long, just short of-”

“-just short of six months,” Frank interrupted helpfully. “And I pay rent, so don’t get your panties in a twist. We’re gonna watch “Terminator” now. If you wanna narrate for Red over there, you’re welcome to join us. Otherwise, hush.”

Foggy opened his mouth as if to say something. Then he closed it again and shook his head. “Another day, another insanity. Whatever. Come on, you lunatics.”

Matt smiled. For now, everything went better than expected.

 

 

* * *

 

 

[in the small cabin in the woods, back in chapter 4]

 

“Well,” Dieter said, still stuck in the closet and trying to get more comfortable, “could be worse.”

“Halt die Fresse, Dieter!” Detlef and Fritz replied in unison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *"Halt die Fresse!" = "Shut (the hell) up!"
> 
> So yeah, that's really it now. I think. :)
> 
> Also, you can talk to me on my tumblr  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nauticalypso


End file.
